Toyota just launched a new hybrid luxury sedan in Japan. The name of the car is, wait for it, wait for it... 'Sai'.

I am not making this up.

What does it run on - solid fuel?

The Toyota Sai is to be sold in Japan as a domestic model, it seems. Which is a good thing, of course, because in the Chinese market, or where the Hokkien dialect is spoken, this word 'sai' means something less than flattering.

For my international readers, the word 'sai' means 'feces' or 'shit'.

I read in online motoring websites that sai is actually a Japanese word that can be translated as sophisticated and joyful. I do feel quite joyful, relieved even, after a session in the loo. Not sure if I feel very sophisticated though.

Yet other motoring websites claim that sai means 'talent' and 'colour'.

Which is it? I wish they would make up their minds.

Speaking of colour, I can predict what the popular colours will be for the Toyota Sai In Singapore. I think Champagne Gold Sai will be popular but Super White Sai and Buffalo Brown Sai will be exciting choices too. But in post-NKF-saga Singapore, you may not want to be seen driving a gold Sai.

I wonder what options this car comes in. Perhaps you can buy the Sai with sitting or squatting seats. With gold handles and bidet options.

I suggest they sell a youth version, the Toyota Panke Sai (Panke means 'punk'). In Kyoto, you can buy for the wife, the Toyota Kyoto Gu Sai (Gu Sai means 'my wife'). And for the friendly chap, you can also get the Toyota Yoshimi Sai (Yoshimi means 'friendly relations').

The Toyota Sai is supposed to be a hybrid car like the Prius, but bigger and more luxurious. This reminds me of people looking for an eco-friendly hybrid SUV, the kind driven by folk trying to make a personal statement like, "Hey, I have a lot of money and like to drive big cars but I still love Mother Nature."

Trying to create an eco-friendly SUV is like saying you can make your giant desktop gaming PC more like a laptop (use smaller USB ports?).

But I am sure that is not what the Toyota Sai is about and I am sure it is a very fine car.

I have seen my share of oddly-named cars in Singapore. For instance, the Daihatsu Materia. I hear hor, the materia they use very good one.

Then there is the Nissan Sylphy. Was that made during an era when it was against the law to use vowels in car names? It makes you phyl sylly not being able to read it, I bet.

From no vowels to only a vowel, there is also the Mitsubishi i, that cute little minicar. They went one up Apple's iPhone and iPod by just keeping the "i". And lowercase only, please, in case you still don't get that it is a small car. At this rate, Mitsubishi still has twenty-five other letters to use for their one-letter naming strategy. Or four more letters to use if they only want the vowels.

Volkswagen has the Tiguan, a name that came from the words Tiger and Iguana, I am told. I keep thinking of Khong Guan biscuits when I see that name. And while I get the tiger bit (fast and fierce), I am not too crazy about an amphibian that is known for its slow reflexes

And whenever I see the mini-van from Suzuki, the Suzuki Every, I feel like asking "Every WHAT?" It drives me crazy. It's like naming a car the Very.

See what I mean? You want to ask, "Very WHAT?" right?

Well, at least the local Toyota distributor will be happy that parallel car importers won't bring in the JDM (Japanese Domestic Market) version of the Toyota Sai because of the name. Unless those car dealers can convince towkays that the name comes from the word 'peesai', which, as we all know, means 'competition' in Chinese.


About Mr Brown
mrbrown aka Mr Kin Mun LEE is the accidental author of the popular Singapore website, mrbrown.com, and has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997.

Affectionately known as the Blogfather of Singapore, his readers follow his writings closely, which these days range from current affairs, his family, and even his trips abroad.

Currently, mrbrown also hosts the mrbrown show (mrbrownshow.com), probably Singapore's best known comedy and satire podcast.

mrbrown is married to Ginny, his long-suffering wife for 12 years, and is father to three lovely kids, Faith, Isaac and Joy.